Often times I draw a blank while talking. The pause in thought process seems excruciating, including some mild embarrassment. This tendency is annoying.

I am a highly intelligent human, or at least I would like to think so.

My good friend Jerry explained this phenomenon.

Short-Timers

Short timers is a progressive mental state that blocks memory recall in conversation. The brain cells just are not connecting quickly enough resulting in completely blank lapses in the thought process. This usually results in uncomfortable pauses, snapping of fingers and vacuous stares as the afflicted person tries to remember just what the hell the word was they were thinking of. No cure yet exists for this manifestation. However, it is suggested that a decreased use of alcohol and cannabis may help those who suffer from it.

And for those who don’t imbibe? Well, you’re out of luck.

The good news – death is not imminent.

Delayed Intelligence

Have you ever been in disagreement with someone over some sort of issue? Maybe you were super passionate and your persuasiveness just wasn’t good enough to sway the other person’s opinion. Maybe the deal you were trying to close didn’t work out as planned. Perhaps something you were blamed for was unjustified but in the moment you couldn’t prove otherwise.

The next day, you know exactly what would have worked in your favor. “I should have said this, or done that.” Bingo…that’s delayed intelligence.

And yes, it is terminal. It’s going to be that way till the day you die.

Short Attention Span Theater

A basic human condition.

Some stats – According to Google, the average web page view is 10 – 20 seconds. For You Tube, a view counts as one second of view time, which is the amount of time it takes to download the video. The average click through rate on Facebook is .89 percent. That means for every hundred people who view a Facebook page, there isn’t one complete human who stuck around to view it.

Makes me wonder how more people weren’t eaten by saber tooth tigers. I guess humans are easily distracted.

Flat Screen Zombies

Oh my God, they are everywhere.

I have heard the way to kill a zombie is to destroy their brain. This method must not work because Flat Screen Zombies are everywhere. They seem pretty alive, however, I can’t argue for the case of higher brain function.

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