I’m lying on the couch, scrolling through my feed, half-ashamed of how predictable everyone’s gotten, including myself.
Otis sits on the armrest, eyes narrowed. “You know that saying, you’re the average of the five people closest to you?”
“Yeah,” I mutter. “What about it?”
He licks a paw. “I did the math.”
“Oh really?”
He nods, calm as a clam. “Your average isn’t looking great. Two chronic complainers, one dream-dodger, a guy who only talks about protein powder, and me. Congratulations. You’re slightly above domestic cat.”
I glare. “And why are you bringing the number up?”
He flicks his tail. “Please. I’m your outlier. Your saving grace. The only one in the group who naps, meditates, and creates without overthinking it.”
“That’s because you don’t have bills.”
“True,” he says. “But I also don’t have excuses.”
He jumps down, already bored. “If you are going to have impact, expand your circle, human. I’m tired of being your best influence.”
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