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It’s kind of like a ritual. First thing in the morning, my Mac or Mac Book Pro, the internet, my iPhone or iPad, something will be amiss.

My iCloud won’t be transferring something. My email will load on the desk top but won’t load on my phone. We Transfer won’t complete a download, or what ever. Zoom chokes again. You can always count on Zoom to choke.

I know I should be more patient, they are only inanimate objects, but come on, just work.

Welcome To The 21st Century

Frustration seems to be amplifying. I’m pissed off that I don’t have an Areocar. Isn’t that the promise of the Jetson’s? A 2001 Space Odessey foretold moon bases and space station hotels and the like. Where are those things that simplify our lives?

I tried to set up Logic Pro to record my Zoom Meetings. Where are the commands and links? I can’t find them. Standard operational procedure requires at least five failed repetition of instructions before I get it.

Just this morning I yelled at my iPhone. Apparently there was no internet connection. Odd, lap top and iPad were working.

Patience, little One, patience. Don’t let those little annoyances bother you.

My P.C. lap top ended up on the wall.

“That will be the last unauthorized down load you’ll ever make!”

Ever seen a lap top crushed by impact?

Funny, the store where I bought my Mac took it as a trade in. What’s that tell you?

Years ago I was driving through the city on an icy December morning. So much ice that the pick up truck next to me started careening into other lanes. I calmly sped up and moved to the right shoulder. The pick up smashed into a car next to me. My heart rate didn’t budge and I was as calm as can be. Facing death, I had no reaction, but when it comes to these blasted flat screens, profanity can fly.

Perhaps the complications of an unbalanced personality.

Oh Yeah, The Software Learning Curve

Oh vacuous stare. I gaze listlessly into the flat screen. How come I can’t figure out the next command? The instructions were very explicit; this procedure leads to the next alternate. Right?

Wrong!

Not only am I challenged by software, but by a new piece of hardware, as well.

Case in point – My Alesis ML-9600. It is a great piece of mastering hardware. When I was using a Digi 002 and Command 8 control surface, I would use the Alesis as a summing mixer. That thing sat in the box for a year and a half before I broke it out. I may go back to using it; the digital to analog conversion on it is pretty awesome.

You know, I think they tried harder in the late 1990’s and early 2000’s. I really do. The competition amongst rival companies led to some pretty outstanding Hard Drive Recorders and Digital Workstations.

Case in point – Melodyne. I first encountered Melodyne when I downloaded Pro Tools 7. I thought it must be pretty cool because it was endorsed by Peter Gabriel. Good enough for Pete? Good enough for me.

Oh Lord, the learning curve.

Even with helpful instructional videos, I would stare dazedly into my monitor. Flat screens were too expensive back then.

The eternal void filled my brain, unable to comprehend commands necessary for execution. After much yelling at the computer screen, I decided to ignore the program. The thought was, “One day I will understand.”

After several years of upgrades, I finally got it. Melodyne is now pretty darn intuitive. Thank you; I now dance in my captains chair as opposed to cursing the programmer’s mom. That’s not a way to behave; she is probably a pretty nice person.

Oh Internet, Let Me Bow Before You

You know it’s bad when your supposedly high band width connection bogs down because every household in your neighborhood uses the same provider. That connection is lightning fast at midnight, forget about daytime.

Looks like it’s time to use my Personal Hotspot. I’m not sure this internet service thing has much life left.

Oh yeah, let’s not forget some of those free cloud transfer services. Talk about lack of reliability.

They want me to pay for an upgrade?

I may have been born at night, but it wasn’t last night.

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